Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Dating a girl in China is a lot different than dating a girl in the U.S. Sure, girls are girls, right? Wrong.

I mean, aside from basic human respect and the general demeanor of a woman, there are quite a few cultural differences that you need to keep in mind when dating a girl in China.

From family values and tradition to societal norms and upbringing, there is a lot to think about when getting into a relationship with a Chinese girl.

Don’t let this deter you though because with these dos and don’ts, you can study up and turn yourself into the perfect partner.

So, if you are thinking of getting into a relationship with a Chinese woman, here are some of the most important dos and don’ts to pay attention to.

The Dos of Dating a Girl in China

  • Take your shoes off in her house. It’s just tradition and you’ll want to seem like a respectable kind of person right?
  • Accept their cultural beliefs. Chinese girls will most likely have beliefs that you just can’t understand. When it comes to medicine, especially, it’s important to be patient and understanding. Many Chinese girls will believe in eastern medical practices that may make no sense to you.
Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Photo Source: Miemie

  • Know their culture beforehand. Don’t start off the first date by asking them to explain Chinese culture to you. Sure, you won’t understand all of it right away, but you should make an effort to study up before you start dating a Chinese girl.
  • Be Impressive. I’m not saying that Chinese girls are shallow, but they do like to be impressed. While having a house, a nice car, expensive things, and a great job are very impressive to Chinese women who value stability, you can impress them in other ways too through small gestures and nice treatment.
Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Photo Source: China Whisper


  • Respect her family. Family is extremely important to Chinese people, especially women. Don’t say anything bad about her family and make sure to show them a ton of respect and attention when appropriate.
  • Be casual with your dates. Traditional dating like dinner and a movie cause too much pressure for a Chinese girl. Instead, ask her to go for a walk or out for a cup of coffee. This will put her at ease and make her more inclined to see you again.
  • Show a bit of your bad side. It’s widely known that women like bad guys, but for Chinese women, this is particularly true. Since their parents usually want them to date a good guy, showing that you are just a bit wild could work in your favor.
  • A Chinese girl will probably ask you the question, “If both me and your mother fell off a boat and were drowning, and you could only save one of us, who would you save?” It’s a tough one, I know, but the right answer is her! Not her mom. A Chinese mother can be overbearing and it’s important for the girl to know that you will always take her side and not the side of her mom.

The Don’t’s of Dating a Girl In China

  • Don’t make her turn off her love ballads in the car. Many Chinese girls like this kind of music, so you need to learn to except it.
  • Don’t forget to hold her purse. It’s just a thing that boyfriends are expected to do for their Chinese girlfriends. Whether you’re walking in the mall or at an outside market, don’t put up a fuss about holding the handbag.
Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Photo Source: Yoyo Chinese

  • Don’t be lazy about learning Mandarin. You’ll be expected to at least make an effort to learn Chinese, especially for the sake of speaking to her parents.
  • Don’t disrespect her family. Chinese women are typically close to their family, and will often put their needs before her own. You will have to be just as courteous and respectful of them.
  • Don’t be too confident. Chinese women love confidence, but being humble is an important character trait. Don’t overdo it.
  • Don’t try to move too fast. Chinese girls like a bit of a chase and don’t want to feel smothered by you. Put some distance between you and she will swoon.
Dos And Don’ts of Dating a Girl in China

Photo Source: My Asian Girl

  • Don’t forget to follow-up after your first date. Chinese women expect the man to pursue the dates in the beginning. So, make sure to give her a call or you may never see her again.
  • Don’t give her too much to drink. Chinese girls aren’t very good at handling their alcohol. Even a small amount that seems harmless can have your girl throwing up all over the bathroom.
  • Don’t make her jealous. Chinese girls get jealous quite easily, so just talking to another girl in front of her could really make her angry.
  • Don’t say anything about her looking fat. This is true for most women, but Chinese girls tend to be very conscious of their weight and will do almost anything to stay thin.
  • Don’t be boring. Chinese girls don’t want to hear you talk about business. They want an interesting conversation, especially when they get to talk a lot.
  • Don’t be too physical. Many Chinese girls like to take relationships slow and may not even kiss you until a few months into the relationship.
  • Don’t shut her down when she talks about getting married and having babies. This is important for Chinese women.
  • Don’t expect her to pay for much. Usually, men pick up the bill for nearly everything.
  • Don’t break up with her in a bad way because Chinese girls often think that revenge is acceptable.
  • Don’t try to fight her on her medical views. You won’t win and she will only get angry with you.
  • Don’t make her suspicious that you’re cheating on her. Even if you aren’t she will probably still think that you are.

Dating a Chinese girl has its pros and cons, but it really depends on the individual that you meet. While there are certainly cultural differences, there are tons of women in China who may or may not fulfill the stereotype. Just try to find someone you connect with and take it from there.

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Shannon Ullman

Hey! I'm a published American travel blogger and teacher. My travel writing has been featured on Huffington Post, Elite Daily, Matador Network and Thought Catalog. I spent over a year living and traveling around China while I taught English there. I have also visited dozens of other countries around the world.